just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
