To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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