I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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