hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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