If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
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I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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