I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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