i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
