she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
