Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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