I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
