the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
