you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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