I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
