she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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