I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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