Where did you get a picture of my penis
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
