I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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