did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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