Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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