I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
