addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
