I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this just has baby written all over it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
