You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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