Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
