In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
