I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
