did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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