how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
