What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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