the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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