somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
