I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
