Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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