I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
