I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
