Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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