another moral hangover. fuck.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
