I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
