As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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