The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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