I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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