I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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