Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
