I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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