four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
why is half of my head shaved?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
