Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
