If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
