i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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