I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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