Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You made out with two different species that night
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
