absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize