and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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