Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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