you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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