i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
