I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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