and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
