I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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