I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
