And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
