He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
